Who was solitudeseeker? What happened?

[tokkuljar7]

I get that the thread about me was made several months ago, but is there any way you guys could continue to not really have all of these opinions about me anymore? I respect whatever any of you want to think, because you are entitled to that. But a load of things happened in my life that really made me have to deal with a lot. They were very personal.

In regards to one of your opinions about anger. It was not anger issues that were behind some of the posts. It was something else. "Lashing out at the weirdest things", just think about it for a moment, that doesn't sound like anger.

Philip and I still regularly talk, so we don't really have any problems despite the very rude comments I had typed to him. Another side story that most of you do not seem to know is that I happen to actually know a lot of theology and history in general. My thought process is not in any way how it is displayed on that account.

It's not really relevant, but what happened in my life that made globalninja make that thread was my brother had fallen into a lot of drugs, and it's been the hardest thing I've had to deal with since my dad's death. Philip says he rarely even checks SMF anymore.

[tokkuljar7]

I'm just going to log off after this, becaise having an alyernate account is against the rules of this forum, but if you want to know what happened, here is what did. I ended up smoking a hookah pipe when I had been nineteen, which is one hundred times stronger than a regular cigarette, and it ended up giving me something that was beyond anger or anything similar. I can't say it because it is supposed to be confidential, but you can have an obvious guess at what it is.

It wasn't just that though, obviously, but ever since I have been back training and regularly just being who I used to be before all of that happened, I've seemed to hold up pretty well. For doing the hookah, I thought it wouldn't affect me because I was Lebanese. But it was not that way.

Besides my brother not doing well, I tried to dig and uncover the true story, and found some information, but failed to find it fully. It was two years I tried to help him, but I've moved on now. My life the last three years is like anything you'd find in a history text book. It's nothing different than what has already happened before in history. I am done with this thread.

In the end, it was all science, and I am glad I am not where I was anymore.