An Open Letter to the SMF

[joemello]

Putting it here just because. I wanted to do this earlier, but I have the tendency to get cold feet over these things, but I feel like it could benefit everyone now. After all, it's only a little over a month until we get an influx of new people looking for something more from their Ninja Warrior.

Also, before I get too entrenched, let me get this out of the way now: I am not going anywhere. I plan on coming in and out like I normally do. Sorry it's not more frequent, but at least 3 other message boards, a handful of blogs, LJ, and Facebook take priority. It's just the way things are.

And now, without further ado, let me make my sweeping yet surprisingly accurate generalization that is meant to be inflammatory.

You're all a bunch of idiots.

Not the same type of idiot, mind you--we have the holier-than-thous, the sense-of-entitlements, the people who think with the wrong body part, the people who don't think period, nihilistic curmudegons, wapanese, fanboiz, dogmatists, and several others, I'm sure--and most of us fit into more than one category. I know I do. I'm sure a lot of this would change with some compelling SASKUE discussions (you know, this board's raison d'etre), but apparently there's no reason for that because of this statment, which is now my new favorite quotable.

That's because this is the internet. There's no reason to be kind or polite.

This was most likely said in jest, but this, saadly, is the common perception held by young adolescent males perpetuated by the young adolescent males who came before and so the devolution gets worse and worse with each new generation. SMF and it's unsurprisingly large concentration of young adolescent males is no exception, and has been evidenced in several choice exchanges over the past 5-6 months.

In my opinion, it's flawed teenage logic. No one knows it's you, and there's no one to tell you to mind your p's and q's. Therefore, it's perfectly okay to "rebel" against the societal norms and bully, greif and inflammte other internet users because, after all, there's no one to stop you and it all disappears at the end of the day when you log off and go outside.

Problem is, words hurt no matter if they're typed or spoken. It's no different on the internet and this forum's members either have an inability or have just refused to grasp that. If you create an abrasive environment, you'll turn people away and you've just seen that. It's good to see that there's an attempt to change that and directly address the mistakes of the past, but the horse has probably already left the barn and several more seem to do so. All you can do now is learn and move on.

I know the information for Sasuke is slow, but I hope that this can turn back into a place to discuss Sasuke and the related stuffs and maybe some general discussion on the side. If it does continue to be a place for griefing and pointless teenage bull, then I really will have to re-consider my being here.

Until then, I will remain to provide my strange intellectual mix of Japanese culture, sports, and television. Do be aware, though, that if I call you out, it's nothing against you as a person. More than likely, you probably just didn't think hard enough (if at all) before you spoke and rightfully deserve to chew on your own foot. Take it, learn, and move on.

TTFN

[The Chief]

Actually, adolescent teens are like that because of a side-effect of puberty.


Other than that, I couldn't agree more. While I am one of the ones who was flaming(Oti mostly), I agree with what you are saying.

[obakemono]

"Since everyone around here seems to be so keen on being right ..."
-myself, October 2008

This place hasn't changed that much after all.

We're all horribly flawed hypocrites. Hopefully we can come to realise that and stop taking internet business so seriously.

EDIT: If Joe can use a webcomic to illustrate a point, so can I.

EDIT2: To anyone who flames for fun, GTFO and don't let the door hit you on the way out.

[RiderLeangle]

And this is what? 1000th topic on this arguement? If people want it to die (I know I do)... Stop bringing it up. *facepalm*

[Badalight]

Honestly, these forums arn't bad >_> just stop talking about it.

With the spam board and chat room things have greatly improved, and with the rules in place and warning system it will prevent anything from further happening.

The only problem we've had is the whole Ultimatesk8er ordeal and some flaming.

[Lennon]

And the continuation of bringing it up. XD

It just seems like everybody is trying to get the last word. So it never seems to end. Sorry, I'll shutup now.

[supernovamaniac]

inb4lock.

I'm going to quickly drop something here that has been through my mind just right now.

In the forums right now, there is an infinite cycle going around.

For example, we all decide to stop talking about a subject, then it goes good for few minutes until a similar topic shows up in other places on the forum. In this case, it went across 4 different sections of the forums (which I find interesting).

What happens is (and I admit being one of them. Like I said before in other threads, there is nothing that can be done to change what you have done), there is one factor that causes the boom again every once in a while.

Simply put:

"Alright let's stop bashing"
"Alright"
"Agreed"
-few minutes later
"Blahblah"
"Drop it already"
"Alright"
-few minutes later
"Blahblah"

That's what I see happening. After my post in the other thread, I have completely dropped the subject, then just stopped posting. It was simple as that.

I guess, however, even after we all agree, I think its human temptation to start the cycle again. For example in this case, someone dragged me into the topic again.

From what I see, it is an infinite cycle that is ceasing to end. Will it eventually stop? Maybe. Will this topic be forgotten from all of our minds soon enough? No. It will happen few more times before anything.

If you want to talk to me, please try to pm me or contact me on aim. I'm minimizing my usage on the boards.

-Alex Kim

[Oti]

It sounds like we need a better plan than the usual "we'll all just try harder" thing.

And I don't want to just drone on like everyone else and say that it's all our faults but... I guess it is. I mean, things will go along fine for a little bit, then someone says one little thing that one or more people take too seriously. Before you know it, we're all flaming each other.

I admit that I argue a lot and I don't take much stupid crap from others, but honestly, I try not to flame. I mean, if you say something and I think you're wrong, I at least try to stick to the issue. I don't bust out and post something like, "Well ur momma's so fat she's... FAT! LOL!". I try not to flat-out insult anyone. I guess I do, but I'm not trying to.

Since the whole thing with Arsenette, things have gotten better, I think. I remember Rider and Badalight used to flame each other and post useless things all the time - I haven't seen one shred of evidence of those things since then. It's almost like they're different people now.

And to those of you who shrug this off and think this forum isn't so bad, you're right, kind of. It's not that bad, not yet, at least. There's a problem though - you need to face it. If we keep losing control, forgetting the issues and just fighting, this place is gonna explode and then we'll all just sort of float around for a while until another place is made. Then we'll all get together there, remember how much we hate each other and start fighting again.

So what do you all think we should do? I think I've already straightened up a bit, but I could do more, as could all of you.

Let's brainstorm.

GO!

[The Chief]

I say if anyone brings this up again it should count to their warning level.

and oti, two things
1. you know what, I think rider and bada have matured 0_0(the world is ending) jk
2. I agree, we need to straighten up, I already extended the olive branch to you and you have accepted it(I'm lazy, sorry for the topic name rip-off, david). Hopefully, everyone else can do the same.

[Oti]

I don't think that's going to fix the problem. That's like giving people negative rep. Most people here don't care.

[Badalight]

I've matured? I've always been mature, I'm just not as negative as before. The only times I'd ever get into an argument were pretty much against Rider and Oti, because they used to really piss me off.

Rider for his ignorance and Oti for his God complex, and least that's what I saw in him.

Either way, I don't have bad blood with anyone on these boards anymore. Meaning I don't hold any grudges, someone might still hold one against me, I don't know nor do I care.

And about the whole these forums are going to hell issue. I think it started because there is a large diverse group of people here. Of course there will be differences in opinions. There are different age groups, different genders, and of course different levels of intellegence.

People like Blind piss off older users who think they're smart ad it makes them retaliate. Which in turn makes them retaliate back, and then it's just a cycle of people arguing.

So pretty much what I'm saying is, take it to pms, or stop arguing all-together.

[bigblind168]

Well, ive thought it over long and hard, really since before Sasuke 22 as whether i should stay, and ive come to the conclusion that i'm leaving.
Ive had good and bad times, but honestly never really felt i had gotten any respect from anyone, not that i fully deserve it, but still.
Now, i will be leaving the board section, and i may make minor appearences, and ill be here for Sauske 23. But if im on here, it'll be forum chat. I'd like not to be part of the imminate utter implosion of these boards.
I may be on the forum chats from time to time. but dont be expecting me here.


So, for now,
Peace

[Oti]

Dunno if you'll read this or not, but I respect you. I thought you were a dumb little kid until I met you in person. Now I know you're not. I also apologize for thinking I knew you. It's just... your spelling and grammar weren't the best.

And I don't think that's how it works, Badalight. It's not the fact that some people are older or smarter and others are younger and more stupid. It's the fact that most people here will post with a very clear "F you" attitude. That sets others off. I know it makes me mad when I see someone post and they have that superiority complex. I feel COMPELLED to post and cut them down to size.

That's why the whole "let's all just be more mature" thing can't work. There's always going to be one person who posts with that attitude, intentional or not, and that's going to set others off. It's like a domino effect.

[madmanike]

As with anything, it is what you make it. If you (and when I say you, I mean each individual who posts here) want to make this a better place to post, then it is up to you to decide on how you want to post. It is up to you on your attitude and how you deliver what it is you want to say. You cannot controll the actions or words of others. It is their responsibility to do so, not yours. How you choose to react to someone IS your responsibility, howerever. If you choose to fight fire with fire, then we get what we have now, a community burned and scorched.

But with all fires, once the flames have dissipated, it falls into the healing stage. Now is the time to step up and rebuild what has been lost. As the saying goes, if you want respect, then you must first give respect. That doesn't mean agree with anything just to get along. It just means use your brain before you decide to post something stupid, rude and hurtful. Write what you want, then go back and preview it. Sometimes it's better to edit yourself. You might just think of better ways to say things once you've had a read through first. And if there is a problem with someone getting out of hand, report them to the Mods, that's their job to bring down the thunder, not yours.

So let me get the ball rolling on this, after all, I should be able to put my money where my mouth is. I know that Oti and I have butted heads in the past, sometimes quite "A-holeishly" on both sides. So I'd like to apologize to Oti for my behavior in the past. I know we don't see eye to eye on some issues, but for rude behavior I've had on my part for it, I'd just like to say I'm sorry.

The future of the boards is now, what direction do you want to take it?

[Oti]

West. They's got Disney Land out there.

Don't worry about our past. I'm honestly kind of surprised at how polite you are now. I remember most of your posts had this awful attitude to them. Then again, so did mine.

[joemello]

I tried to fashion this more as a cautionary tale as opposed to the attention-whoring dramatic exits we've seen once or twice. I've seen it done on other boards, too, and they tend to come back uninvited (especially when no one tried to stop them from leaving in the first place). Putting it in the Suggestions section instead of General Topics was for the same effect, physically separating it from all the ranting come before.

Honestly, I was considering an open letter in March before Sasuke 22 aired just to remind everyone to not be arses to the probable influx of new members, but held off. Considering the dramu and the fact that June will get here sooner rather than later, it seemed like as good a time as any.

I reiterate that in order to let this forum grow, you need to maintain a welcoming atmosphere. If you don't, then the boards will go downhill fast. Even in the best of times, you need to remember that and put out any fires as fast as possible. Since I'm not in any power (and don't really expect to be) I can't doing anything to help the process other than to coach from the sidelines and practice what I preach.

[The Chief]

This almost reminds me of the story "The Spark Neglected Burns the House"(or "Quench the Spark") by Tolstoy.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Quench_the_Spark

We are getting worked up over one little thing. I am partially to blame, for that I can only say "gomen nasai." We are becoming two factions on this forum. The town(these forums) has been burned, but not destroyed. We are currently in a happy ending. The ending which has Gabriel and Ivan working together to rebuild the town.