Katsumi Tries To Get In (an SMF exclusive)
Jul 25, 2014 4:19:29 GMT -5
RiderLeangle, arsenette, and 9 more like this
Post by lostinube on Jul 25, 2014 4:19:29 GMT -5
Katsumi Tries To Get In1
Katsumi Yamada: Ah! Finally, I'm here at SASUKE Park in Toyosu! Time to get in there and give the fans what they want. Hello there!
Entrance Staff #1 (ES1): Hello, sir. What kind of ticket will you be needing today?
Katsumi: Ticket?
ES1: Yes. You need a ticket to enter.
Katsumi: I don't need a ticket. I'm here to give demonstrations and autographs to my peeps!
ES1: Oh! I see. Well, let me just check. Your name is?
Katsumi: Mr. SASUKE!
ES1: *Scans guest list* I don't see that name on here.
Katsumi: Oh, you mean my civilian name. Of course! Katsumi Yamada.
ES1: *Looks down at the list again* Sorry, sir. That name isn't on here either. I'm afraid you need a ticket.
Katsumi: What!
Entrance Staff #2 (ES2): Hi. Is there a problem?
Katsumi: This person is saying that I need a ticket. And I don't have the 3400 yen right now!
ES1: Uh, that's the price of a prepaid children's ticket.
Katsumi: It doesn't matter! I shouldn't have to pay to get in when I'm going to be showing people how it's done! You know, this must be a big mix-up. I know what to do. *Starts walking away*
ES1: Oh good. He's leaving.
ES2: No. I think he's...looking for a wifi signal.
Katsumi: What luck! There's an au shop2 near here! *Calls up LINE3 on his smartphone and makes a call to Masato Inui*
Somewhere in Tokyo
Staff: Sir, your phone is ringing.
Inui: *Looks at screen. Sighs. Goes back to work*
*Back at the park*
Katsumi: He must be busy making a youtube segment on the Black Tigers. What to do? What to do? *Peers into the park* Oh! Hey guys! It's me! Mr. SASUKE! Can you help get me in? Uhh...Ryuuji! Kyo!! Guys! Guys? Guys?
Yuuji Urushihara: *To Ryo Matachi* Just keep your back turned. If we ignore him long enough he'll stop.
*Just then a giant motorized silver skull with the word GUNS on the forehead drives up to the park. A shirtless Hitoshi Kanno steps out.*
Katsumi: Oh hey! Hiroshi!
Hitoshi Kanno: Hitoshi.
Katsumi: That's what I said! Are you going inside? These guys won't let me in without a ticket!
*Hitoshi looks at the entrance staff. They shake their heads.*
Hitoshi: Sorry dude, no can do. *Puts on pair of mirror shades and walks away. The scorching Tokyo sun reflects off his skull car and sets fire to a nearby building.*
Katsumi: Alright, look, if I give you guys my autograph, will you let me in?
ES1: No. Sorry, sir.
Katsumi: How about a selfie? I'll even take off my shirt.
ES2: Um. No.
Katsumi: How about a can of SASUKE Spray? Free?
ES1: No. Wait. Where did that can come from?
Katsumi: How about a box of SASUKE Spray?
ES2: Did that whole box come out of your fanny pack? Er...I mean, no.
Katsumi: Well, then how about this! *Sprays SASUKE Spray into the eyes of the staff*
ES1: Argh!!
ES2: Are you OK? Security!
*Katsumi sprints into the park past Yuuji and Ryo.*
Katsumi: Hi guys!
Yuuji: *Shuts his eyes tight* I didn't see anything...I didn't see anything...
*Katsumi jumps onto the 1st Stage of the SASUKE Course.*
*Does the Long Jump*
*Does Slanted Pipe Climb*
Katsumi: Uh oh! Here they come!
*Dodges security and runs to 2nd Stage B*
*Looks down and notices he's on the Soritatsu Kabe*
Katsumi: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
*Security guards come and drag him out of the park*
Katsumi: Hey shoe guy! A little help here!
*Yuuji starts climbing up the Final Tower by the scaffolding*
Katsumi: Hey, that's not allowed!
*Yuuji throws a shoe at Katsumi's head*
Katsumi: Ouch!
*Later that night*
Katsumi: So yeah, that's what happened! I'm, like, totally innocent! But anyway, can you come and bail me out of jail? Hello?
Makoto Nagano: Sigh. *To his wife* No, it's nothing important. Go back to sleep.
1. This is fictional.
2. au is a mobile phone carrier in Japan. Some au shops have free wifi.
3. LINE is a popular smartphone messaging application that can also make free phone calls.
Katsumi Yamada: Ah! Finally, I'm here at SASUKE Park in Toyosu! Time to get in there and give the fans what they want. Hello there!
Entrance Staff #1 (ES1): Hello, sir. What kind of ticket will you be needing today?
Katsumi: Ticket?
ES1: Yes. You need a ticket to enter.
Katsumi: I don't need a ticket. I'm here to give demonstrations and autographs to my peeps!
ES1: Oh! I see. Well, let me just check. Your name is?
Katsumi: Mr. SASUKE!
ES1: *Scans guest list* I don't see that name on here.
Katsumi: Oh, you mean my civilian name. Of course! Katsumi Yamada.
ES1: *Looks down at the list again* Sorry, sir. That name isn't on here either. I'm afraid you need a ticket.
Katsumi: What!
Entrance Staff #2 (ES2): Hi. Is there a problem?
Katsumi: This person is saying that I need a ticket. And I don't have the 3400 yen right now!
ES1: Uh, that's the price of a prepaid children's ticket.
Katsumi: It doesn't matter! I shouldn't have to pay to get in when I'm going to be showing people how it's done! You know, this must be a big mix-up. I know what to do. *Starts walking away*
ES1: Oh good. He's leaving.
ES2: No. I think he's...looking for a wifi signal.
Katsumi: What luck! There's an au shop2 near here! *Calls up LINE3 on his smartphone and makes a call to Masato Inui*
Somewhere in Tokyo
Staff: Sir, your phone is ringing.
Inui: *Looks at screen. Sighs. Goes back to work*
*Back at the park*
Katsumi: He must be busy making a youtube segment on the Black Tigers. What to do? What to do? *Peers into the park* Oh! Hey guys! It's me! Mr. SASUKE! Can you help get me in? Uhh...Ryuuji! Kyo!! Guys! Guys? Guys?
Yuuji Urushihara: *To Ryo Matachi* Just keep your back turned. If we ignore him long enough he'll stop.
*Just then a giant motorized silver skull with the word GUNS on the forehead drives up to the park. A shirtless Hitoshi Kanno steps out.*
Katsumi: Oh hey! Hiroshi!
Hitoshi Kanno: Hitoshi.
Katsumi: That's what I said! Are you going inside? These guys won't let me in without a ticket!
*Hitoshi looks at the entrance staff. They shake their heads.*
Hitoshi: Sorry dude, no can do. *Puts on pair of mirror shades and walks away. The scorching Tokyo sun reflects off his skull car and sets fire to a nearby building.*
Katsumi: Alright, look, if I give you guys my autograph, will you let me in?
ES1: No. Sorry, sir.
Katsumi: How about a selfie? I'll even take off my shirt.
ES2: Um. No.
Katsumi: How about a can of SASUKE Spray? Free?
ES1: No. Wait. Where did that can come from?
Katsumi: How about a box of SASUKE Spray?
ES2: Did that whole box come out of your fanny pack? Er...I mean, no.
Katsumi: Well, then how about this! *Sprays SASUKE Spray into the eyes of the staff*
ES1: Argh!!
ES2: Are you OK? Security!
*Katsumi sprints into the park past Yuuji and Ryo.*
Katsumi: Hi guys!
Yuuji: *Shuts his eyes tight* I didn't see anything...I didn't see anything...
*Katsumi jumps onto the 1st Stage of the SASUKE Course.*
*Does the Long Jump*
*Does Slanted Pipe Climb*
Katsumi: Uh oh! Here they come!
*Dodges security and runs to 2nd Stage B*
*Looks down and notices he's on the Soritatsu Kabe*
Katsumi: Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!!
*Security guards come and drag him out of the park*
Katsumi: Hey shoe guy! A little help here!
*Yuuji starts climbing up the Final Tower by the scaffolding*
Katsumi: Hey, that's not allowed!
*Yuuji throws a shoe at Katsumi's head*
Katsumi: Ouch!
*Later that night*
Katsumi: So yeah, that's what happened! I'm, like, totally innocent! But anyway, can you come and bail me out of jail? Hello?
Makoto Nagano: Sigh. *To his wife* No, it's nothing important. Go back to sleep.
1. This is fictional.
2. au is a mobile phone carrier in Japan. Some au shops have free wifi.
3. LINE is a popular smartphone messaging application that can also make free phone calls.